Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

http://ping.fm/mSUrr

I've been good but Billy has been jerking off!!!
http://ping.fm/92WnW

Guns don’t kill people. Husbands who come home early kill people.

Gossip: When you hear something you like about someone you don't

Be naughty, save Santa the trip.

Based on current statistics, we know 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, which means the other 50 percent end in death.