Marriage~

A man asked his wife, "what would u do if i won the lotto? "she says, "I'd take half & leave you!'' Excellent! I won 12 bucks, here's 6 get the fuck out!"

Blow Job!!!

Two Condoms!

Two condoms walking past a gay bar.
One turns to the other and says "Wanna go get shit faced?"

People from Wal-mart!!!

Let’s run through my rock star list…. Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo?
– check; Cut jean shorts? – check?; wife beater tied at the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR!

Penis Massage

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Dirty Jokes

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.

What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.


From: 101funjokes.com