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It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted.

Figures don’t lie, but lycra redistributes the truth.

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Few men know how to kiss well- fortunately; I've always had time to teach them.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

I live in my own little world. But it's okay- They know I am here.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And then it was to late.

I finaly got my head together but my body is a mess.

You're not getting older, darling, just more experienced

You're only young once. That is all society can stand.

Youth is a disease from which we all recover

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

WARNING: I have gas. And I know how to use it

I’ve never understood whey women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.